Ethnic Avenue – The Street That Crosses All the Others

Archive for the ‘Jews’ Category

If you haven’t already heard, Theology expert and ancient historian, Elton John, has declared that Jesus was, in fact, a gay man:

I think Jesus was a compassionate, super-intelligent gay man who understood human problems. On the cross, he forgave the people who crucified him. Jesus wanted us to be loving and forgiving.

-Elton John

Now, it’s not a new thing to try to claim Jesus as a member of your own group. Over the years, Jesus has been a black dude, a severely out-of-place European with a blond beard, and even a right-wing Laissez-Faire capitalist. But of all of things that Jesus has been turned into, this is probably the most likely.

Think about it:

• Hung around with only men (so-called “Apostles”) and slutty fag-hags (Mary Magdalene)
• Liked things neat and tidy, as evidenced by his kicking out the money changers from the temple—with a whip, no less
• Drama queen that always talked about “being betrayed” and “fighting temptation”
• Always talking about “his body,” which he eventually “serves” up at the Last Supper
• Well-groomed and stylish for the time: neat beard, long hair, sandals, and two-colored toga
• Obviously kept up his physique, even crash dieting for forty days and forty nights

Every year around this time, the TV lights up with lame programs about “where we are” in respect to Martin Luther King’s “Dream.” Even though I recognize the value of the occasional check-in, I’ve always felt that the annual MLK news special was one of those hollow, easy gestures from the CNNs of the world—put mostly in place so the second-string newscasters can log hours while Wolf Blitzer gets “the night off.”  Needless to say, this year’s special got all fucked up because of the whole Obama thing. For the first time in a long-ass time, they actually have some movement on the Dream front.

I don’t actually plan on watching any of these shows that I’ve been seeing commercials for, but I can pretty much guess what they’ll sound (and look) like: a TV-Reporter Asian American Girl walking toward the camera while saying something like, “While Obama’s election marks a big step in the right direction toward fully realizing King’s dream, there’s still a lot of work to blah-blah-blah.” Cue footage of an especially dramatic Obama speech, inter-spliced with some black-and-white MLK footage. I guarantee it.

So, knowing how the news is going to handle that situation, where are we with the Dream, really–especially with a black president and all?

It’s complicated. But I’ll start with the stuff we won’t get into (at least not right now):

• How a whole new breed of dumb-as-shit, redneck racists is coming out of the woodwork since the election
• How Obama may have only gotten the job because the guy before him fucked up so monumentally
• All of the miscellaneous evidence that the world is going to shit (spike in overall stupidity, the economy, obesity epidemic, etc.)

What I will discuss is the condition of MLK Boulevards, Drives, and Streets everywhere. I’ll explain.

For most of my life, I’ve subscribed to the Chris Rock School of Thought on MLK Streets:

The way I see it, MLK Street is a good barometer on how far we’ve come to achieving King’s dream of equality. As long as MLK Street remains a ghetto-ass, dangerous place in most cities, things haven’t changed all that much. Just because a minority or two land a good job, that doesn’t mean the condition of that whole race has improved. It’s just a stroke of good luck or an exceptional hustle by that one person.

So if non-violent MLK Streets is a sign that the Dream has become reality, imagine my dismay when I found this—in Jerusalem, Israel of all places:

It’s a good thing Dr. King kept his Dream domestic.