Ethnic Alert: Don’t Turn Your Back on Magic Johnson
You have to hand it to Magic Johnson, after years of performing magic on the basketball court, he’s now performing his magic act in the pockets of unsuspecting ethnic people.
The metamorphosis from Magic Johnson, the jolly basketball player to Magic Johnson, the jolly street thug was a gradual process—so gradual, in fact, that most people probably haven’t noticed how sleazy he’s become.
Magic’s career as “business man” started like everybody else’s—with an eponymous chain of movie theatres. Before you knew it, he owned a few commercial buildings. Then, he got into the strange business of selling you your daily cup of undrinkably strong coffee (Starbucks) and your weekend order of “loaded” potato skins (TGI Fridays).
But, these days, Magic Johnson will sell you just about anything. His commercials are getting so outrageous, I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s figured out how to pick your pocket through the screen when you turn your back to the television.
Here’s a sampling of Magic’s latest “inventory”:
San Manuel Casino
An unusually raspy Magic pitches the long odds and third-shelf entertainment of Southern California Indian casinos.
Jackson Hewitt Tax Services
Claiming that it’s “money like magic,” he pushes the loan-shark-like terms of the Money Now Loan—an unfavorable Tax Refund Anticipation Loan scheme for the most desperate.
Rent-a-Center
The most thuggish of Magic’s hustles, Rent-a-Center will lease you an old TV for three times its original price and send someone to threaten you at your house if you miss a payment. Despite how bad that sounds, I think most of us can agree: it would totally be worth it if Magic showed up at your door, and personally beat you down in his NBA uniform.
See Magic’s Rent-a-Center Commercials
Posted in Black People, Commercials & Ads | 
Tags: Commercials, Indian Casinos, Jackson Hewitt, Magic Johnson, NBA Basketball, Poor People, Rent-a-Center, San Manuel Casino
Does he still have AIDS? Anyone?
Nobody’s mentioned it in a long time. I think he’s curing himself with some top-secret, ultra-expensive treatment that he’s paying for with his Rent-a-Center, Jackson Hewitt money. That would explain why he’s gone so sleazy.
So much for caring about your community. That’s sad.
To Tony,
Don’t make yourself sound ignorant by saying “does he still have AIDS?” To answer your question, he never had AIDS, he was diagnosed HIV positive (different). What he does have is a net worth of about $750 million or more now. He also owns properties from L.A. to San Diego and owns a bank and part of the Lakers.
Yeah, Rent A Center does rip you off, but it does make otherwise inaccessible items available to less fortunate people who can’t buy a computer or furniture outright or on credit. What if your kid needs a computer for school and you’re poor? No one to loan you money, bank turns you away?
Now the casinos and tax joint? You call that a spokesperson, a recognizable, marketable face. You don’t have to go to the casino, you can use turbotax. Don’t hate on Summertime.
And Tony, don’t make yourself sound dumb.
So what you are saying is “no”
150 words and all you had to say was “no” he does not have AIDS.
-LOL
BTW, your Magic’s Johnson Prize is in the mail.
Tony doesn’t disappoint in clearly displaying his retardedness. Aside from counting words to attempt a witty reply, he fails to notice that I was also replying to the blog itself. Keep it up Tony! The world needs tards like you.