FAQ
Frequently Asked Questions (Frequently Lodged Complaints)
I’ve concluded that the vast majority of “questions” in life are really just poorly veiled complaints or condescending judgments. Whenever a pain-in-the-ass customer-service type asks me “can I help you?” it usually means, “ethnic guy, stop reaching around the counter and pressing buttons on the register.”
This page attempts to address some of the more interesting questions and noteworthy complaints that come through here. Needless to say, it’s an on-going list.
That “About” page didn’t make any goddamn sense. What is this place, another repository of tired-ass stereotypes and insults?
If that’s what you were hoping for, yes. Otherwise, no. Mostly, Ethnic Avenue is a reliable, one-stop source for plausible answers to the difficult ethnic and urban questions we all ask ourselves. It’s a place to get the information you need to comfortably navigate through the confusing world around you without getting beat up (or to get beat up for the right reasons). In addition to providing a portal into the ethnic world, we look out into the “regular” world through our powerful, judgmental, ethnic lens. So, you’ll also find that a fair amount of real estate is dedicated to the compelling evidence the world is completely going shit.
I’m not that bright. I still don’t understand, and I’m getting ready to leave.
Then let me put it a different way. You know how they say that stereotypes and generalizations are partially based on fact? Well, imagine if we took all of those portions of fact and combined them into something constructive, informative, or maybe even entertaining. That’s Ethnic Avenue.
I still don’t get it. I went to public school.
Don’t worry, I did 2. In fact, I have a special machine that translates my text-message-speak into the words you see on this website. So, let me put it this way: do you agree that there’s an element of race, class, and ghetto-ness in pretty much everything?
Yes?
Ok, Ethnic Avenue extracts those elements and presents them for everyone to see. And we do that with a unique urban/hood/racial perspective you can’t get anywhere else (except maybe certain parts of the hood).
What do you mean by ethnic?
Like with most things, there’s a dictionary definition and there are multiple “interpretations” of the word. Our definition falls into the latter category. The way I see it, ethnic is a relative term that can apply to all sorts of things, in addition to people (e.g., behaviors, tastes, places, and decor). It’s like, “that shit looks ethnic.”
Oh, come on, we’re all ethnic. For instance, my great-great-great-grandparents were German-Irish.
While that’s technically true, not really. Some people are more “ethnic” than others. If you’re asking this question, chances are that you’re not that ethnic—unless, that is, you’re asking it through an interpreter while hanging your laundry on a clotheslines that stretches across your living room.
You use the term blue-collar a lot. I work in an office. Am I not blue-collar?
You don’t need to toil on an assembly line making sprockets to be considered blue-collar anymore. The world has changed. White collar is the new blue collar. Those wrinkled slacks and baggy dress shirt are your uniform, my friend. Now get back to work.
Why so generic, what’s your actual race?
For now, I’d like to stay in the realm of the ambiguously ethnic. It’ll prevent me from being typecast.
Who died and made you the expert on ethnic (or urban or class) issues?
I never actually claimed to be an “expert,” I’m more of a specialist.
Some of your posts have nothing to do with race or ethnicity? What gives?
Most everything here is at least tangentially related to those topics. Race and class cut through everything.
This is offensive (racist, sexist, or classist).
Frankly, I’m offended that you’re offended. I like to think that I keep it relatively educational and classy. But, I’ve learned that almost everything is offensive to someone, somewhere and that people—deep down—enjoy being offended. So you owe me.
How ethnic am I?
That’s a good question. If you’re here and making sense of the English, odds are you’re somewhere in the middle of the Ethnic Spectrum. But the best way to definitely determine that for certain is to take the an Ethnic Diagnosis Exam (working title). Unfortunately, our team of researchers is still in the development stages. Stay tuned.
