Ethnic Avenue – The Street That Crosses All the Others

If you haven’t already heard, everyone’s favorite in-and-out-jail relative—Uncle Pennybags—is coming to the big screen. That’s right, Monopoly—the board game—is becoming a movie.

Apparently, the raid of a 1980s-kid’s room for movie ideas (GI Joe, Transformers) isn’t over. Instead, it’s moved from the toy box to the top shelf of the hall closet (the family-fun-night section). Rumor has it that movies based on Candyland, Risk, and Battleship are also in the works.

I just won second prize in a beauty contest. What have you accomplished lately?

I sort of doubt that these movies will accurately represent the board games on which they’re based. If that were the case, you’d walk out of the Monopoly movie six to eight hours after you entered, regretting you could never recover that time, and stealthily emptying your pockets of the $500 bills you embezzled while you were “the bank.”

So, even before the thing gets made, I already know where I’ll be on opening night: at my humble green house on Baltic Avenue, mourning creativity’s long march to the gas chamber. Rest in peace my old friend.

3 Responses to “R.I.P. Creativity: Monopoly the Movie”