Posts Tagged ‘Cussing’
Joe Biden to Pansy Kid: Shut the Fuck Up
Dear Little Turd (a.k.a. McKay Hatch):
I recently saw some news story where you “demand” that I apologize for audibly whispering that Healthcare Reform was a “big fuckin’ deal” to my boss during a press conference.
If I remember correctly, this is how that historic moment went down:
Ah, that was sweet. But this is what you, “McKay Hatch,” had to say about that. What kind of girl name is McKay anyway? That’s a fuckin’ last name, not a first name. And you’re one Mc away from just being Kay. (Not to mention one G from being you-know-what.)
Now, I couldn’t help but think several things when I saw this. I want to break each and every one of them down for you.
1. You must get beat up constantly (or at least you should).
Let me tell you something, you little bitch: do you know the level of lameness you’ve have to reach to start a “no cussing club” in a non-Mormon high school in the United-fucking-States? No ethnic kid would ever even dream of pulling an idiotic stunt like this, unless they wanted to live out the rest of their days in a floor-to-ceiling locker, or with a permanent “kick me” sign stapled onto his nuts. You’re either fearless (which I doubt) or monumentally stupid.
2. You need some serious pussy, son (or, more likely, dick).
No kid with anything worthwhile to do would ever in a million years waste his precious time trying to tell other kids not to say “cocksucker” when the situation merits it. Getting laid is one of those worthwhile things. Believe-you-me, if you were getting any kind of action whatsoever, you would be cussing. And, on the massively remote chance that you are getting laid, you’re doing something wrong—try the other gender. I won’t judge you for your lifestyle choice because, unlike you, I respect other people’s ways of expressing themselves.
3. Every school has a few of you little bitches.
Every school until the end of time will have that weak, kiss-ass pansy that raises his hand and says, “Ms. Jackson, you forgot to give us homework” five minutes before the bell rings on a Friday afternoon. I hope you know you’re nothing new. You’re just another goddamn hall monitor that won’t let Joe Biden go and drop a quick one in the bathroom unless he has a notarized hall pass and three forms of identification.
4. You’re going to be someone’s boss one day.
Let’s face it: you’re going to grow up one day. And, when you do, you’re going to work some shitty corporate job, where you’ll be working overtime to claw your way up the middle-management ladder, mostly, to make up for all of the valuable time you wasted on your moronic “no cussing club.” Attention all bullies: beat this kid down into a fuckin’ pancake now, because you’re going to pay for it anyway when you work for him in a few years.
5. This is how men talk, you little shit.
If you knew anything about being a man, you’d know that not everything is “flippin’ cool” or “radical dude.” Sometimes things “suck ass.” Some people are “cunts.” And, once in a great-great while, when the stars align just right, things are “a big fuckin’ deal.”
Fuck you kid. Get a life.
Sincerely,
Joe Mother-Fuckin’ Biden
Posted in Asking for an Ass-Kicking, News & Politics | 
Tags: Barack Obama, Cussing, Healthcare, Joe Biden, McKay Hatch, No Cussing Club | 
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