Ethnic Avenue – The Street That Crosses All the Others

Posts Tagged ‘eDiets.com’

If you’re up late enough watching TV, you start getting the extended commercials for things that tend to appeal to up-late slobs (e.g., Girls Gone Wild tapes, no-work exercise machines, seductive get-rich-quick schemes).

Lately, I’ve been seeing this gem from our friends at eDiets a lot (watch as much as you can tolerate):

Apart from being entirely too long, repetitive, and giving you a nagging case of that embarrassed-even-though-it’s-not-you feeling, this commercial is another sign that the end-of-days is hurtling toward us.

Five Disturbing Things about This Commercial

1. We’re such collective fat-asses these days that you can actually take out two-minute ads on TV for unnecessary “diet plans” and still turn a nice profit.

2. People know so little about basic nutrition that having someone else prepare every single one of your meals and ship it to your door “fresh” is considered a viable option for eating healthy. What’s next: eShits.com, a service where someone else takes your shits for you? You heard it here first.

3. Insultingly out-dated “rap music,” with whack-ass rhymes and tired “hip-hop” phrases (“I got it going on”) and gestures (raise the roof). The only thing missing is a line of kids doing the Running Man in the background.

4. Lamely, and transparently, trying to legitimize the use of a “rap song” by prominently featuring a black girl—who, from her before-and-after pictures, doesn’t even appear to have lost very much weight.

5. Setting back White girls everywhere—who have been working tirelessly to erode the pesky stereotype they can’t dance—by putting on some of the worst White-lady dancers imaginable.