Ethnic Avenue – The Street That Crosses All the Others

Posts Tagged ‘Gentrification’

I don’t know what’s going on, but the Los Angeles Times is quickly becoming the leading source for fish-out-of-water stories about privileged white girls crossing paths with poor, ethnic people. The latest installment in the transformation is this story about how two brave “journalists” (one writer and one photographer) decided to–just to see what happens–move into one of those apartments packed densely with several families of FOB Central American and/or Mexican immigrants, in a torn-up neighborhood.

They’re posting their results in a series of minimalist, urban-blight-stylized “journal entries” on their website, strangely reminiscent of every old-warehouse-turned-fancy-clothing-store in the gentrified areas of the city near you.

Intrepid White Girls, Devin Browne and Kara Mears (Photo Credit: LA Times)

Even though I partially agree with each of the major criticisms leveled against these two, I also feel sort of bad for them because people are dog piling on them unfairly. “Oh, it’s culturally condescending.” “This isn’t journalism” (which they readily admit up front on their website). “The LA Times is perpetuating (immigrant, Latino, illegal immigrant) stereotypes by giving these two chicks a forum.” And so on and so forth.

Even though, to me, this whole project smells of a reconnaissance mission into fresh gentrification territory, I’m still giving these chicks a pass on the whole interloper argument. It’s not a bad idea to drop some white girls into strange, foreign situations to see what happens and, then, report it as news. Of course, it doesn’t work with every type of white girl. It’s only interesting if you mix ultra-white girl types or–as in this case–semi-arty, wannabe creative types that are more privileged and out-of-touch than they realize, and are always looking for opportunities to re-enact that semester abroad they did in college.

So, I say, let’s see more of it.

Off the top of my head, here are a few overlooked, exotic Latino situations I’d like to suggest to other intrepid white girls looking for a “project”:

Gringa Butcheress (Carnicera)

The butcher (carnicero) is an important character in Latino life, on the order of a Catholic priest or the host of Sabado Gigante. But behind-the-counter is generally a man’s domain. Imagine the high-jinks of having a white girl or two running the place.

Guess what: I hear we're being replaced by some gringas.

White Girl Ice-Cream Cart Operator (Paletera), Mexican Corn Vendor (Elotera), or Side-of-the-Road Fruit-Bag Seller (Frutera)

If you’ve been to any major U.S. city in the South or Southwest, you’re familiar with (or even have a taste for) the ambulant foods of the hood. On any given day, you can get a bounty of south-of-the-border favorites, from the condiment-heavy “crazy corn,” to a bag of peanuts, all for around a dollar. Why not have a white girl operate one of those small businesses for a year and get a tan and a good project in the process?

This is generally how I push the cart, ladies.

Balloon and Toy White-Girl

The advantage to this one is that—in addition to the others’ benefits–you also get an upper-body workout. The main problem is that it’s hard to text your friends and take documentary-style pictures while you’re carrying that heavy-ass pole, so this is definitely a two-girl job.

This will look better in black and white.

For a while now, I’ve suspected my neighborhood was developing a serious hipster problem. Admittedly, it’s pretty hard to live in any decent apartment-dense area in a major U.S. city without running into at least of few of these characters, with their manicured beards, year-round beanies, and two-sizes-too-small striped sweaters.

But, one day, I looked up and saw this.

There’s nothing like a pair of “old-school” high-top Nikes—except maybe a pair of girlish skinny jeans—to telegraph hipster. It’s probably no coincidence that right below this hipster territory mark is:

• a store that sells turn-tables and other equipment for “DJs” (a common hipster pastime);
• an ostensibly “dive” bar, frequented exclusively by mid-to-late 20s city transplants;
• an “ironic” t-shirt and skateboard store.

I guess this is—to the extent that these wimps are capable of it—a hostile hipster takeover.

That’s why I never understood the controversy over Columbus Day.

For most of my life, I thought of Columbus Day as a celebration of the first large-scale gentrification in North America. Since a lot of us ethnic guys have been reaping the benefits of subsequent gentrifications (a flood of white girls into the neighborhood), I thought it was a holiday-worthy event. After all, Columbus got the ball rolling.

What a cute neighborhood! And what reasonable prices.

But, now I’m realizing that Columbus Day is even more. It’s also the day we mark the mighty Native American’s discovery of his kryptonite disease—smallpox. Sure, it decimated millions—and wiped out entire civilizations—but he should have known his weakness. Superman did.

This got me thinking: it’s not right to celebrate only one group’s Achilles-Heal Disease. To be fair, every major ethnicity’s kryptonite should get its own holiday. (Don’t be offended if I left your group out.)

Achilles-Heal Disease Holidays (Proposed List)

• Happy Bloody-Diarrhea Day – Indigenous Americans*
• Happy Sickle-Cell Anemia Day – Blacks, Latinos
• Happy Type-2-Diabetes Day – Latinos, Blacks
• Happy Lactose Intolerance Day – Asians
• Happy Tay-Sachs Disease Day –Jews**
• Happy Sun-Exposure-Induced Melanoma Day – Northern-European Whites
• Happy Gluten-Allergy Day – Other Whites, Miscellaneous

* Already exists

** Already have lots of holidays