Ethnic Avenue – The Street That Crosses All the Others

Posts Tagged ‘Jetta’

The source of the overwhelming majority of stereotypes about White girls at-large, the Straight-Up White Girl is probably the most abundant variety of White girl. Because their fashion and language can vary by region and conditions, they’re often misclassified into one of the group’s subsidiary, niche member classes: the “Valley girl,” sorority chicks, mall girls, girl-sport athletes (e.g., volleyball), cheerleaders, and others who make up the overall species.

But not every White girl is a Straight-Up White Girl. The group excludes some notable cousins like Sporty-Crunchy White Girl, Gangsta White Girl, and Indie-Hipster White Girl.

Appearance & Dead-Giveaways

• Immaculate, braces-straight teeth to match straight hair
• Unmistakable “White-girl accent” and inflection; heavy use of space-fillers like “she-was-like”
• Displays the absolutely latest fashions and trends (e.g., Ugg boots with mini skirt)
• Seemingly unaware of, or indifferent to, dressing exactly like one another
• Legs and feet that never seem to get cold (flips flops, shorts–even in winter—at the faintest sign of decent weather)
• Fond of loud “woo-ing” to publicly express their approval of things

Lifestyle & Tendencies

• Survive on a steady diet of entrée-sized salads, fancy coffee drinks, and heavy cell phone use
• Drive around in Volkswagen Jettas or similar, “cute” girl-cars
• In warm weather regions, will often ride around in beach-cruiser bicycles (in flip-flops and shorts, no less)
• “Love to dance,” but unwittingly perpetuate the white-girls-can’t-dance stereotype when they do
• Carelessly unaware of realities beyond their immediate, privileged existence
• Painfully unaware of the ephemeral nature of beauty, their tendency to age poorly, and the expiration date for their time-limited lifestyle
• Become embittered and bitchy in their 30s, when their favorable position in society–directly associated with their youth and perceived desirability– starts to erode into mean and cruel cougar-hood

A few weeks ago, this screen capture hit the internet like gangbusters. It inspired a wide range of reactions from “no way” to “oh snap.” The big question was whether it was legitimate racist programming embedded deep in the shag of the Google search algorithm or just another clever Photoshop hoax.

Oh snap.

We may never know the truth—since Google reportedly fixed the problem shortly after word got out. But the whole controversy got me thinking about ethnic people’s unique relationship to their cars—especially in our urban centers. For reasons that remain largely a mystery to most, ethnic youth seem to have a special fondness for after-market parts and accessories. If someone stole your car, and kept it, a reasonably keen eye could discern the degree and hue of ethnicity of the perpetrator, simply from the “modifications” you found on the car. Cars, it seems, can tell you quite a bit about a person—if you know what to look for.

Too fast, too furious.

Hollywood capitalized on the ethnic car phenomenon with the Fast and Furious franchise, featuring a largely ambiguously-ethnic cast, including the king of that group—Vin Diesel. I still haven’t succeeded at sitting all the way through any of the installments, but word has it that they devoted an entire one (Tokyo Drift) to Asian people. Dave Chappelle famously addressed Latinos’ fondness for animal prints in his Lost Episodes. And every other hip-hop video catalogs black people’s undying love for the mighty Escalade.

I’ve realized that we can potentially learn a lot by paying a little more attention to what people are driving. The first in the series: the Volkwagon Jetta.