Ethnic Avenue – The Street That Crosses All the Others

Posts Tagged ‘Last Names as First Names’

It’s probably a good idea to start answering some of the (better) reader questions that come through the Avenue. I’ll start with one about an issue I’ve often pondered myself.

What’s with all the last names for first names among young-ish White kids these days? I thought you might have something to say about this.

Sandy – New York, NY

Sandy,

Naming your kids after (exceptionally Anglo) last names is the new adding-superfluous-letters-to-otherwise-common-names. The Meaghans, Jaymees, and Ashleighs of a couple of decades ago are the Mackenzies, Madisons, and Tylers of today.

Giving your kids a last name as a first name is certainly not a new thing. Back in the day, you’d run into the occasional Spencer or Owen. But there’s definitely been a noticeable spike in the practice in recent years, especially for girls. And, double-especially, among well-off White parents. You don’t often hear a mom calling out for her little Martinez or Garcia.

The explanation is pretty simple. Fancy-ish White parents don’t want to give their kids the same tired-ass, pleb names they have. And, for once, I agree with them. How many more Jennifers or Mikes can you have in the world? Next time you’re on a private college campus, try shouting out “Hey Jenn!” in a crowded area and count how many girls turn around.

This is why I’ve long advocated for a license-plate-style (or internet-address-like) registration system for baby names. If a name is taken, tough shit, you have to add a number two to the end of it, a hyphen in the middle, or come up with a new one entirely. A person’s name goes back into the pool when they die, or legally change it to something else.

A system like this would force people to be a little more creative, and make remembering people’s names a lot easier. Who could forget someone named Jenn-2k10?