Ethnic Avenue – The Street That Crosses All the Others

Posts Tagged ‘Revenge’

Every smack that goes up, must come down. And, even though Obama’s hand seems to have floated in the air for like a year, it came down correspondingly hard and crisp across the collective orange face of the Republican party over the past week.

Like so many others, I made no secret of my disgust for Obama’s repeated punk-outs and disappointing overtures to idiots that never had any intention of working with him. But, for at least one magical week, I’m getting to enjoy some good old-fashioned, sweet ethnic beatdown:

What started with a surprisingly in-your-face State of the Union address, has poured over into a daily–semi-abusive–barrage of calling-out, political flourish, and general ridicule. Seemingly overnight, Obama has gone from a bad case of no-balls accommodationism to a life-threatening case of testicular answer.

Now, that’s my kind of change.

I don’t know about everyone else but, to me, one of the most irritating things on the road nowadays are those unnecessarily bright headlights on certain late-model cars. In response to this modern nuisance, our "production team" has put together a crude animation on some ideas for getting your revenge dealing with them.

According to the 1990s philosopher, Tupac, revenge is the second-sweetest joy. Today, Senator Roland Burris’s mouth is puckering up from the massive dose of delicious payback he’s slapping across the collective face of Senate Democrats that have been disrespecting him for months.

Sure, he got his seat under suspicious circumstances—not the least of which was being hand-picked at the eleventh hour by the now-impeached-for-corruption former governor of Illinois, Rod Blagojevich. But I’m still having a hard time seeing how it’s worse to get a seat the way he did than by taking millions of dollars in contributions from multi-national corporations.

How you like me now? I'm in the mix.

Since his appointment, this guy has put up with all kinds of humiliation (most of it earned). He wasn’t allowed into his own swearing-in ceremony. They didn’t let him join any committees. And there was a growing chorus calling for his resignation. Imagine going to work every day knowing an additional two or three people are going to want you the-fuck-out. That was Roland Burris.

So after being rendered all but irrelevant, Roland sort of disappeared from the public spotlight—until now.

The Illinois Democrat, appointed by disgraced former Gov. Rod Blagojevich, says he’ll only vote for a bill to provide health care to millions more Americans as long as it allows the government to sell insurance in competition with private insurers.

You have to hand it to the guy; very few of us have this level of endurance. He sat back and waited for the right moment to cash in his token. Then, when he did, he landed a two-for-one: sweet revenge and doing the right thing.

The guy knows how to land a good job, he’s patient, ballsy, and stands up for what the vast majority of people want (but the vast majority of Congress is too pansy to support).

That’s enough to get Roland Burris added to the list of candidates for the Ethnic Avenue All-Stars.*

* Coming soon