Ethnic Avenue – The Street That Crosses All the Others

Posts Tagged ‘Swimming Pool’

I was relieving my pockets of their collections of fresh restaurant napkins when I received a message from a reader with this story. It’s about how this Polish woman is suing an Egyptian hotel on the grounds that her daughter got pregnant while swimming in their pool.

Magdalena believes the teenager conceived from stray sperm after taking a dip in the hotel’s mixed pool. She is now seeking compensation from the hotel…The mother is adamant that her daughter didn’t meet any boys while she was there.

Unlike everyone else, I’m not so quick to judge Magdalena and her fertile daughter as complete frauds, or as perpetuators of old, unfunny jokes about how stupid Polish people are. In fact, it’s the complete opposite. This woman is a goddamn genius, one that’s obviously schooled in the ancient world. She’s single-handedly revealed a dirty trick those sneaky Egyptians have pulling for 3,000 years. I’ll explain.

Everybody, especially if they were around in the 70s and 80s, knows that there used to be a condom brand named Ramses. What a lot of people don’t realize is that it’s (appropriately) named after Ramses II, an ancient Egyptian pharaoh (1279-1213 BC), who fathered between 160 and 200 kids (with various wives, of course). Without getting into the whole thing, he was basically one of the most kick-ass pharaohs of all time, earning himself the moniker “Ramses the Great.”

Young Ramses smiting some foreigners.

I, like a lot of other people, always questioned how Ramses managed to father so many kids, especially late in life. Sure, he had lots of wives, but in those days, most of your kids died at birth. And, if you’ve seen what he looked like at the end, you’d wonder too.

But thanks to Magdalena, now we know. He used the old Egyptian pool trick.

Ladies, let's take a little dip in the pool.