The Lowest Form of Wit: the Portmanteau

Even though the “observational,” complaining blog entry is near the bottom of the list, the absolute lowest form of wit nowadays is the portmanteau.

The once-great art of combining two or more words to make a new, useful (and occasionally funny) one–that gave us such gems as brunch and smog–has been beaten to death by a generation of digital-age text-messaging pop-culture clones and online wannabe-comedians.

I can hardly go to my favorite overpriced hipster cafes and online destinations anymore without witnessing one person’s “clever” combination of someone else’s two words into a single Frankenphrase (portmanteau intended).

I think the most common manifestation of this is adding the prefix man- or bro- to an otherwise conventional word, presumably to add a clever masculine twist to a word with a feminine or neuter connotation.

Overused Man Suffix + Innovation = Mannovation

Overused Man Suffix + Menstruation = Manstration

Overused Bro Suffix + Romance = Bromance

Overused Bro Suffix + Brazilian Wax = Brozilian Wax

Needless to say, the permutations are endless. The other day, its clever name almost lured me into watching a TV show called Manswers.

Urban Dictionary, a once-hilarious collection of slang terms and street dialect has degenerated into a bloated collection of these things. Recent “words of the day” include:

Double freeture – when you sneak into a second movie at the multi-plex.
Yellular – the loud voice people tend to use on their mobile phones.
Carcolepsy – people’s tendency to fall asleep in the car.
Canniversary – the one-year mark of your involuntary unemployment.

So, next time you’re tempted to get a cheap laugh by astutely combining two words into one, remember: you’re probably a dumb-ass.

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